Contrary to popular belief, you are in control of our life.
You may believe, based on what you have been taught,
that other people have at least some control over your destiny.
Understand that this is not the case…unless you allow it to be.
Don’t Exist to Survive, Exist to Flourish
An ant works all day and at the end of the day it’s still an ant and it’s still working. In order to break from the habits of the ant, you simply need to choose to do so. Don’t let life happen to you; you need to happen to life.
I call this the zombie phase. You are alive,yes. But you are dead inside.
Ever felt that way? Been there, and believe me dahling it's no fun.
Don’t Allow Other People’s Limits Control You
Your expectations of life were developed as a child. Your beliefs and views of the world depend on how your parents, grandparents, friends, and teachers interacted with you.
Some people think that they will never be rich or treated fairly because of their skin color. Others think they need the government to help them get ahead because their parents thought they needed the government. One friend told you that being rich was simply good fortune; that you had to win life’s lottery in order to make it. Your uncle told you that it’s impossible to live comfortably without borrowing money.
These people have set limits on you and you are allowing those limits to control your life. If this is one of the things that is limiting you... well I think it's a load of crap!
Don’t Manufacture or Invite Pain
Do you believe that life has to be difficult? We always hear “Life’s a bitch and then you die.” (I've conquered this btw, Life may be a bitch but so am I) Sometimes we invite pain because we don’t feel comfortable without it. Pain is at least a sign that you’re still alive, right? But does it help us or hold us back?
Say this to yourself a few times: I don’t owe anyone anything and I am not responsible for others.
We bring pain on ourselves when we feel that we need to repay that which was given to us as a gift, or when we try to take responsibility for others.
A good friend once told me, Rhonda, YOU are always #1.
If number 1 deteriorates or becomes mediocre, what good are you to others?
Fix Yourself, Don’t Affix Blame
Be accountable for your past, present, and future. Whatever has happened thus far is your fault and whatever is going to happen in the future is also your fault. If you affix blame and live life as a victim, you will stay a victim forever. Victims do not realize dreams and goals, proactive people do.
Ewww in my book, being a victim is a no no. Two things here, you are stupid enough to think you are beyond reproach and that it is always somebody elses fault... or stupid enough to think others have always wronged you. Still boils down to one thing Dahling, STUPIDITY!
Forgive Others To Release Their Control Of You
Face whatever has been done to you in the past, recover from it, and then forgive. When you fail to forgive, you allow the unforgiven person or thing to control you forever. It will be a constant weight hooked to your ankles that you choose to drag around for your entire life. You choose to drag it because you can also choose to break the chain at any time. Face it, accept it, recover from it, and forgive.
This was once my biggest problem. A dear friend of mine - Denise Roberts (she has passed on now) told me that I was better than God because I couldnt forgive my step mother from things in the past. I was shocked and was about to say something when she interjected and said - "even God forgave people from killing his only son. " I chewed on that one for awhile. What she said made sense to me even if I didn't have a whole lot of God in my heart at that time.
Think Positive Of Yourself and Your Life
Cultivate an indomitable spirit. Believe you can and will succeed. Make a list of positive statements about yourself and read them everyday. Do not make excuses or put yourself down in conversations with others or with yourself. And analyze the people you come in contact with on a regular basis. Are these negative people or positive people? Your friends should support you and lift you up, not depress you and drag you down to their level. Believe in yourself and others will believe in you.
Suppress Drama and Embrace Reality
If you notice, the drama queens always have drama in their life. Drama doesn’t find them, they find the drama. That’s because drama is a choice.
It’s also important to understand that drama limits you. It is a tool of victims. The more drama you allow in your life, the more you will lose sight of your goals. Drama does not create progress, it forbids it.
If you are around people who always experience drama of one type or another, think about distancing yourself from that person. You don’t need the baggage that comes with constant drama.
Drama? No thanks.
Don't like me? Your problem.
Love me or hate me.
Girl please, I'm still gonna shine.
Fulfill Your Own Wants and Needs
Many people are caught up in putting other’s first. It is ingrained in a lot of us during childhood. Let your friends go first, serve the guests first, hold the door for others, etc. So when it comes to true needs and wants,
we often transfer those learned behaviors and suppress ourselves. Make your own wants and needs a number one priority. But I must add that in setting priorities, we also have to learn the word COMPROMISE.
Leave the Past Where it Belongs
The past is just that-the past. What happened in the past does not necessarily allude to what is going to happen in the future. Each new career, new relationship, and new friendship have their own unique potential. If you were let down in the past, you can't let that affect your present and future. They aren't the same. If you live in the past, you will constantly live in a self fulfilling prophecy. Your life will suck because you expect it to suck. It's that simple. This is another form of drama and not accepting responsibilty for your actions.
Realize that the Enemy is You
We have met the enemy, and he/she is us.
In order to conquer the outside, you must first conquer the inside. Look to yourself. We hold ourselves back more than anyone else has the power to. When you realize this is the reality you will find it easier to deal with your issues and make progress toward your goals.
Love yourself...
Face reality...
Rip off those masks and let others accept you for who you are.
If you can't accept the real you...who will?
Someone will always be smarter, prettier or richer than you are. Competing with others will get you nowhere.
You wanna talk shit about me...
thats fine.
You wanna think shit about me...
thats fine.
You wanna start shit about me...
thats fine.
You wanna hate me...
thats fine.
Starting to get the picture?
I don't care.
Love me or Leave me.
What you think of me is non of my business.
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